FArt Smellers, Jun Fellers, and Self SPLODERS?

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Last night, I found the Farside Music website. I'm not sure how I found it or what my train of thought was, but I'm glad I did. I had known about this guy or group or whatever they are (I think it's one guy in the UK) for a while through the Farside Music Youtube channel, but it was great that I happened upon their site. They operate a store that ships Eastern music from various Asian countries to Westerners. I especially love websites that specialize in the sale of niche things like music from a specific region or a specific kind of music. While I was browsing their catalog, I found a lot of interesting things. My favorite so far is definitely this compilation of "sounds of Tokyo" from 1959. It even includes church bells from Nikolai-Do, which I visited last year while on honeymoon with my wife!

While I was browsing, I happened upon a Best Of CD collection of Jun Togawa's works from her self-titled songs, songs from Yapoos, and other things that she hand-selected. I had never given her much thought, I was familiar with Suki Suki Daisuki, her famous wacky 80's hit, but I decided to give her a listen. I must say, I love her stuff. It's energetic, goofy, and very Japanese, not to mention well thought-out. I'll be thinking about this live performance of hers for quite some time.

After listening to her work for a bit, I decided to look into her a bit more, and I found out that her lyrics tangentially connect her with some of the ero guro scene. Now, I really dislike gore and violence. I try my hardest, of course often failing, to uphold Paul's maxim in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

This did, however, intrigue me. I've been acquainted with someone in the past who was fixated on very violent art, and I had the ganas to try and suss out what's going on with it. I haven't really been able to, but I did find some interesting things.

Ero guro (erotic grotesque) themes in art are something I won't be treating here in full, you can read about what it all encompasses on your own time if you wish. In fact, I really didn't read much into it, it was simply the next step in my path that led me to what I want to write about tonight. I read a bit about Sada Abe; a tragic, femme fatale figure who, in the Showa period, murdered her lover and carried his severed genitals with her while she ran from police.

She wrote a memoir which I'd like to read sometime, and she was very sensationalized in a way that is itself grotesque and an indictment on Japanese postwar society. Besides that though, I found a photo of her and an interesting Ainu-looking man.

I've sinced learned that this man is named Tatsumi Hijikata who, it turns out, was close with Yukio Mishima! Quite the circle. He created a style of dance in the 60's called Butoh dance. The snippets from this particular dance were quite haunting and cool.

Side note, lately I feel like my vocabulary is getting worse! And I also get impressions and ideas sometimes that I feel should have their own words to describe them. I'll look into soon and if they don't have words, maybe I'll make them up. Future blog post idea!)

I decided to look into this style of dance more, and I found this video from a Westerner who, I guess, is a Butoh practitioner. In his description of aesthetics, he outlined quite a bit of Butoh philosophy as well, and this really is the whole reason I decided to write this blog post. When looking at the world, one might see all of the different philosophies and religions and worldviews and think to himself, "Wow! There are thousands upon thousands of paradigms!" Lately, I feel like there are actually maybe five or something. This man spoke about the idea of the "empty body," so based on the bizarre movements from the dance I had seen, I assumed he was speaking of some kind of shamanism. He then began to describe how the Butoh dancer is supposed to bring forth some kind of authentic expressive form in the body of whatever thought or impression he's trying to convey without any sort of imposition of tradition or rules. Oh wow! This again? Maybe this is a Westerner's interpretation of what the tradition teaches (he did cite a few things if I recall correctly), but this is just honestly absurd. I'm getting bored of this same idea I keep seeing pop up everywhere. It's in popular interpretation of religion, it's in gender theory, and it's in all kinds of art and apparently in dance too. Paul Vanderklay has a really good term for it: the "Secret Sacred Self." For years, I've been encountering this idea and I myself used to believe it too. Is the official global religion right now this idea that there is some kind of "authentic self" that only you have access to and all forms of cultural and social norms prevent you from expressing it, and the point of basically everything is for you to self-formulate this self and then express it without boundaries? It certainly feels that way. It's just disappointing to see something cool and when you try and dig into what it is, someone tells you, "you just gotta like, find out what it means to you, man..." Hogwash.

This is just pure solipsism. My biggest issue with a lot of systems of thought, and especially this one, boils down to this main question: What is the point of other people? If our life is just about self-gnosis through self alone, why are there even other people around them? What's the point of you, reader? If I want to pick my nose and eat a booger but I don't do it because you're watching me and I feel too embarrassed to do that, aren't you infringing on my path and purpose in life? After all, I had an impulse to eat my booger, and I must do so since the purpose of everything seems to be "self-expression without limits." Now some might say, "this is just art, art is a special place where this can be done but only in this space." Ok, that's not how this guy sees it, and traditionally, nobody understood the theater that way. This compartmentalizing idea is brand new, and it has a pretty short shelf-life too. Whatever people love the most, they make a religion out of it, that is, they form rituals and patterns around it which order their life towards the end of participating in what is loved. This is an inevitability of human behavior. You will never meet a person who has no patterns in their life and just spontaneously does something different every day, and even if such a person were to exist, the "principle" of spontaneity itself would be "ordering" them. So another person may say that the audience is participating in the performance. Ok, sure. Here's the problem, nobody knows what is going on and it's not for lack of trying. If there is a form of art that has no tradition and no set of agreed upon symbols but is just pure "self-expression," then it collapses into solipsism because the viewer interprets the work based only on their own arbitrary impressions, so what is the point of the viewer? The viewer is not "participating" in anything with the creator, but is instead engaging in their own individual exercise. You may as well have somebody look into a dumpster and ask them to interpret it. The interpretation has no connection to the referrent except the fact that it is the matter they're commenting on. No meaning is actually being revealed. I would go as far as to say that this is not art, but I'll have to think about a proper definition of art, which would also be a good blog post.

Anyways, this idea of the self-generating self is a huge mistake that I've seen a lot over the past decade, and I will likely write more blog posts attacking it in all of its absurdity. I might not have done that good of a job making my point, but that's why this is a blog on my personal site and I'm not publishing a research paper or anything. You could always email me (when I put my email on here finally) if you want me to clarify something or just tell me I'm wrong. This was a bit of a chore to write, it's almost 1 AM now, but I had a really relaxing bath and shower, groomed my beard, and I'm ready to have a nice, long, Friday night sleep. I hope you had a great day, and God bless you, reader. Remember, don't just think of yourself!

Sat, 25 May 2024 07:05:44 +0000

To All Saplings

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A tree is a grand thing to behold.
The leaves of a tree are often bitter, yet the fruit is sweet.
When the bitter leaves collect light from the sun,
and the firm, anchoring roots draw the water from the well of the earth
the tree brings forth fruit, which is sweet and nourishing.

All because of those bitter leaves, often poisonous.
Those leaves which when tasted, can almost kill.
Now, we may be all leaves. Just now planted.
The roots are still searching for the surest soil.

Don't give up, little sapling.
Grow little sapling, grow towards the light.
One day, you will be like the great elm.
And give rest to doves.

Sat, 18 May 2024 00:34:18 +0000

Monsters Critters Aminoles Orioles Grab A Net Catch Them and Raise Them Into Beasts of WAR Or Just Feed Them Pancakes

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Good morning! I meant to make a blog post last night, but I was too tired. I really should go to sleep each night without using technology for about an hour prior anyway. I've had the best sleep when instead of using a computer before sleeping, I read a book or prayed until I got tired. Well, now that I'm awake, I'll try to summon my thoughts from yesterday to make a coherent post.

There's something extraordinarily appealing about creature collecting games. Some might say it's because of my generation's exposure to franchises like Pokemon from an early age, but I think it goes far deeper; even to the book of Genesis.

[18] And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

[19] And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

[20] And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

There is a deep-seated desire in man to learn all about, have dominion over, and dwell with animals. The other day, I was at a store and I saw a bin of those small plastic animal toys for children and I couldn't help but smile. I used to have those as a young boy. Typically, however, it wasn't just any old plastic animal toys I wanted, but dinosaurs. Every little boy LOVES dinosaur toys, dragons, and fantasy creatures. I think it's the mystique of the unexplored territory, the part of Earth that has not been subdued, the animals which have not been named. Just naming bones hardly qualifies as naming a creature. All of the animals were brought alive to Adam by God so that they could be named. There is an interaction and maybe even a relationship implied here and this, I believe, is why we love creature collecting games so much.

Lately, I've been obsessed with this YouTube channel called Benkipo. This guy loves Pokemon at least as much as I do, and has decided to create his own creature collecting world. I was about to write that I would have eaten this up as a kid, but who am I kidding? I STILL eat this up. I really wish I could do this, but I can't draw. His designs are great, honestly; very fresh. They feel like creatures you can befriend and battle with, but still unique and not like Pokemon. I especially like the "Lucky" typing he's created, which is themed around the luck and fortune aesthetic from various Asian cultures. Especially the Goldish and Wyrmwin Powpow (his creatures are called Powpow).

I've had many story ideas over the years which I do intend on following through with whenever I have the time and energy, but they usually have some message, some philosophy, something I want to explore or to say. I would love to just have a world where I simply create creatures and characters to exist and live. Something like Codex Seraphinianus. Maybe even an Edenic world. Something childlike would be wonderful. I sort of have this idea already, but it's for the purpose of then wrecking that world in another story and it's not going to be a "real" world, I don't want to give too many details. Regardless, I should take some time to learn to draw so I can make some creatures someday. I had a cool idea for a tree a while back, actually. I just remembered this. This tree lives in swamps. It is hollow and always lives on a body of water. It has a tank made out of specialized roots deep in the ground where it stores this special swamp water whenever the region dries out completely (which it does for a short period each cycle). The water is pumped up through the tree's trunk and travels through extremely long tube-like branches to be deposited in small pools in more dense regions of the swampland. various small creatures use these water-slide tube branches as a form of transportation. Anyways, that's all for now. Let me know if you find any cool creatures worlds! I'd like to know about them. Have a good day and God bless.

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 16:04:10 +0000

They Pulled Me From My Car And Beat Me With Hammers This Will Surely Be My FINAL Post

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It's been a while... and my excuse isn't very good. Historically, at least as far as my life is concerned, I would have just stopped posting because I forgot or lost interest; but lately, I've actually been a lot more productive and on top of projects and goals. Seriously, thank God for that. It's certainly not due to anything on my part! The actual reason is that I wanted a new theme for my blog this year. Yeah, yeah I know. Some people have called me a perfectionist and I really don't buy it at all. If I were a perfectionist, wouldn't I be able to make perfect things? Yeah I know again. That's not how it works. I must actually be a perfectionist since I rarely release anything or complete it since I easily become dissatisfied with a project's progress. I'm reminded by that sentence that I'm a terrible writer. Well, it's a good thing I'm starting this blog back up.

This year has really been off to the races. Everything is going by so quickly, and at the same time, it's felt like nothing's really happened in the world. I mean, sure, Israel-Palestine conflict and all that. I guess I just pay less and less attention. Half the time, somebody tells me about some HAPPENING and I have to ask them to explain it to me from step one. Well, I usually rather just say I don't know what they're talking about and leave it at that. I guess I'm getting closer to my goal of: nevermind. I just spent 5 minutes looking for a meme that describes how out of touch and detached from online discourse I'm becoming. Man, it must be coming true if I can't even find it!

On the personal side of things, a whole lot is going on this year. I'm gearing up to start a business, planning some permaculture projects, and taking another trip to Japan. All very exciting stuff. There's been a roadblock or two, and I'm sure there will be more, but I'm trusting in God to lead me wherever I need to go. Hope everyone who read this had a great year. Sorry I didnt' really have anything more insightful to say. I never really do though! There wasn't much to look at either. Here's a really cute flounder (maybe it's a skate?) I found on iNaturalist today. He lives in the Gulf. See y'all when I have something to talk about!

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 06:34:21 +0000